Understanding Sexualised Behaviour
A printable version of this article is available for download at the bottom of this page.
What are sexualised behaviours?
Sexualised behaviour begins in infancy and is a normal part of sexual development. There can be inappropriate age displays of sexualised behaviour that can be harmful or problematic to the child especially later in life. If this is not addressed, then children may display problematic or harmful sexual behaviours. Children who are exposed to this behaviour may develop long term patterns or have an increased likelihood of negative developmental trajectories.
The Traffic Light Model
The traffic light framework is a helpful resource you can use to identify the characteristics of the behaviour and the way it occurs.
Green Light Sexual Behaviours
0 -4 YRS. - Comfort in being nude. - Unselfconscious play with or touching of self.
5- 9 YRS. - Body touching and holding genitals. - Telling stories or asking questions, using swear words. 1
0 - 13 YRS. - Curiosity and seeking information about sexuality. - Interest in/participation in boyfriend or girlfriend relationships.
14 - 17 YRS. - Need for privacy. - Viewing materials for sexual arousal.
Sexual behaviours that are normal, age appropriate, spontaneous, curios, mutual, light-hearted, and easily diverted. Natural experimentation provides opportunities to talk with, explain and support the child.
Orange Light Sexual Behaviours
0 -4 YRS. - Masturbation in preference to other activities. - Explicit sexual talk, art, or play.
5- 9 YRS. - Persistent questions about sexuality despite being answered. - Pulling other children's pants down against their will.
10 - 13 YRS. - Accessing age restricted materials. - Marked changes in behaviour (older or adult flirting behaviour).
14 - 17 YRS. - Sexual preoccupation which interferes with daily function. - Intentional spying on others while they are engaged in sexual activity or nudity.
Sexual behaviours which cause concern because of persistence, the type of activity or knowledge, inequality in age, size, power or developmental ability, risk to the health and safety of the child/others. These behaviours signal the need to monitor and provide extra support.
Red Light Sexual Behaviours
0 -4 YRS. - Compulsive masturbation which may be self- injurious. - Forcing other children to engage in sexual play/activities.
5- 9 YRS. - Disclosure of sexual abuse. - Accessing the rooms of sleeping children to touch or engage in sexual activity.
10 - 13 YRS. - Sexual conduct with animals. - Possessing, assessing or sending child exploitation materials e.g. photos of children naked or in sexual activity.
14 - 17 YRS. - Engaging others in a process to gain sexual activity by using grooming techniques e.g. gifts. - Arranging a meeting with an online acquaintance without letting a peer or adult know.
Sexual behaviours which indicate or cause harm because they are excessive, compulsive, coercive, forceful, secretive, not appropriate, or between children with a significant age difference. These behaviours signal the need to provide immediate protection and follow up support.
Responding to the Traffic Lights
Green:
Open communication about sexuality and relationships.
Education on body parts, privacy.
Avoid shame and labelling as bad or rude.
Redirect: "That is okay to do, but do that in your room in private".
Orange:
Redirect.
Avoid labelling or shaming.
Supervise where appropriate and monitor the behaviour.
Set boundaries.
Education and open communication.
Red:
Avoid shame and labelling,
Seek further support
contact caseworker and request behaviour support plan.
Education and open communication.
Why might Sexualised Behaviours occur?
The child’s emotional age being different to their chronological age.
The child may feel dysregulated and finds this behaviour self-soothing.
The child may be a witness or a victim of abuse, and this behaviour feels normal.
The child may threaten or coerce another child to bring about a feeling of control.
The child may disassociate and be unaware of what is happening.
The child may be seeking a reaction for reassurance that they are not invisible.
The child needs to feel loved and important and may use sex as currency for love.
The child may need to recreate a familiar environment due to sexual abuse being rewarded in formative years.
What can you do to support the child?
Parents and carers can use a 'two-way' approach, empathising and reflecting with the child/young person, as well as learning how to empathise with and reflect on themselves.
Stay Calm and always remember to tell the child that it is the behaviour that is not okay, not the child.
Clearly and calmly asking the child to stop the behaviour and explain why it is not okay.
Be supportive: Check in with the child and spend time with them talking about their feelings, and discuss privacy and personal boundaries with them.
Decrease the opportunity for problem behaviours to happen again, by:
Identifying if anything might trigger the behaviour and limiting the child's exposure to triggers.
Explaining calmly to the child that their activities will be supervised by an informed adult, and that this is for everyone's safety.
Involving your family by making sure everyone follows some simple house rules about privacy and nudity.
How to advocate for your child
There are three main steps when advocating for a child.
Step 1: Understand the issue.
Make sure you have a clear understanding of the problem or issue facing the child/young person. This could mean doing extra research on the topic or problem to gain a better understanding. There are many resources to help individuals better understand sexualised behaviours and how to support children/young people. There are a variety of in-depth resources, such as the Traffic Lights resource and fact sheets about "Making Things Better" available at facs.nsw.gov.au .
Step 2: Think about what you want for your child.
Thinking about a child's needs will help you decide what intervention, if any, is appropriate for the child/young person. It is important to keep an open mind and seek support.
Step 3: Present a solution.
Presenting a solution to manage the behaviour is an effective approach to solving issues or concerns arising from problematic sexualised behaviours. It is important to consider whether the solution has negative consequences for your child and keep in mind ways to contradict this negativity.
When should you ask for help?
Seek help if the behaviour is: